Why I'd never coach.

I would never, ever coach my kids sports teams, especially in the older age ranges starting with 8s. Not to say anyone would want me to coach as I don't feel qualified. But sometimes when the league needs help, I want to step in sometimes and help. But I would never coach, and here's why.

1. Attitude

I have a hard time dealing with my own kids' attitudes, let alone other people's kids. I am a firm believer in showing respect for those who are older than you, that's how I was raised. Especially a coach. If they are taking time out of their schedule to help you become a better athlete, then you better show them some respect.

2. Unrealistic Expectations

This goes for both the athlete and their parents. Sometimes one or both parties have these crazy, unrealistic expectations of what the season is going to bring. Athletes think (probably with some help from their parents) that they are owed something. They deserve to play this position or that. They are entitled to play in every inning. Um, hi. Reality check. In the real world, nobody is entitled to anything. If we don't start teaching kids that early on, they are doomed for failure, especially in college (if they are so lucky to get that far) or in their "career". I blame parents. They are the ones who hype their kid up so much they think they are a gift from the heavens when in reality, they are the ones that need the most work.

3. Parents

This is the big deal breaker for me. Nasty attitudinal kids are one thing. But nasty attitudinal parents? Oh heck no, get me the heck out of here. I like to think I'm a very patient person. But when you hear these parents who are throwing hissy fits because their girl isn't getting play time? No thank you, sit the heck down. It's especially worse when that parent thinks their child doesn't need to go to team practices, and can just walk in to the game and play "their position" in every inning. Someone's got to reality check these parents because if their child should turn travel, it's a whole different world. And it's scary to think these parents think this way when high school sports and travel on into collegiate sports are all the same way. PUT IN THE WORK AND EARN YOUR KEEP. You may start at short stop one game, but it can all change as soon as you start slacking. Coaches will play the strongest players and will sure as heck sit you if you are not performing to the level that they expect, or you didn't make practices.

So yea, I'll just sit back and help at team practices when they need me. But being an actual coach myself? I don't need that drama. There already is too much drama in the travel softball world to deal with. 

To be LOYAL...Or not to be loyal?

Loyal. Merriam Webster defines this as:

  having or showing complete and constant support for someone or something

 I’d like to propose an addition to this:

  having or showing complete and constant support for someone or something especially when times get tough

Continuing from a previous post about why girls leave teams... Some people understand it, and some people don’t. It’s a shame that when things go bad, or at least they go bad in their eyes, their first instinct is to abandon ship and find the next “best” thing.

Like a relationship, it’s healthy to go through ups and downs, otherwise, things would be mundane and boring. Life is all about peaks and valleys, so why shouldn’t a relationship with a team be the same way? Things aren’t always going to go as planned. You’re not always going to win that tournament, or have the best game of your life. You’re not always going to play that position or bat in that order. Things change and they change for the betterment of each player and the overall betterment of the team. A team that doesn’t change things up a bit is not doing it right, especially at this age (12u).

Girls are still learning, still finding their groove. Sure, there are some girls who know that they want to play this position and that’s all they want to do. That’s fine and dandy and all, but is that the best option for that girl? Is that the best option for that team?

A great team will hold their heads up high after a loss. They will take that loss and dissect it to figure out what went wrong, and how to fix it. They will work with each girl to help them understand what happened and how they can improve for the next game.

It’s up to each athlete to be LOYAL. To understand that the struggle is real, and there will be bad times. But to have faith in your teammates. Have faith in your coaches. Have faith in yourself. With hard work and perseverance, it will get better and you will win that tournament. Heck, you might even win the whole National Championship! But if we can’t teach our kids to be loyal, then we are setting them up for a greater disaster in their life. They might leave a great job because of a hurdle that they don’t want to address. They might divorce when the rainbows and sunshine fade away. They might call it quits because it’s too hard and they’d rather do something easier.

How much should you travel... in Travel Ball?

Oh the question I've heard that's been debated with much fervor. How much should you really travel in travel ball? And what do you consider traveling?

Being in Southern California, travel means to be having to commute to a city that is more than an hour and a half away by car. Lucky for us, there is so much travel softball talent right here in our own backyard, we don't have to travel far. 

So how much traveling should a travel ball team be doing? That's entirely dependent on what that team wants to achieve. Do you want to play the best teams out there and don't live in Southern California? Then travel as much as your pockets are deep. Do you want to get your team name out there and recognizable nationally? Go ahead and travel to different state tournaments where a lot of eyes will be on this Southern California team playing in our local tournament. Do you have girls that are of the recruitable age and want to get collegiate visibility? PLEASE DO travel and get some eyes looking at your talented girls.

As far as I’m concerned, those are the main reasons to travel. Again, being based here in Southern California, we are fortunate that we don’t have to travel far to play the best teams out there. I would gladly drive to Vegas, San Francisco, and Arizona if I felt my girls became stagnant because we were playing the same ‘ol So Cal teams again and again. I would go out of our area to face some new teams.

But for all the parents out there that think they need to be flying to play games beyond National Championship events, ya’ll are just kidding yourselves and are digging financial holes that are really unnecessary. If your kid really is top notch, the coaches will fly to wherever she is playing. Make them come to you instead of chasing them down.  

Why girls leave teams.

Why do girls leave one softball team for another?

The reasons vary. It could be the parents' choice. It could be the player's choice. It could be the existing coach's choice. Let's explore them with more thought provocation.

Reason #1: Parents' Choice
This is a tough one. For whatever reason, the parents have an issue with the team. The dues can be too much. The position of the organization can be a conflict. They don't get along with the coach/coaching staff. They feel like their girl isn't getting enough play time. They don't like the coaching style. They don't like a girl(s) on the team. So the parents pull them off and put them into another team where one or many of the items listed above are resolved.

Reason #2: Player's Choice
Many times a player can be coaxed out of deciding to leave a team, but still, her reasons may be warranted. She doesn't like the coaching style (might be too lax or too tough). She doesn't get along with another player/players on the team. She feels like she isn't getting a lot of play time. She doesn't want to play softball at all anymore. She wants to go to the other team that has all her BFFs on it. So she asks her parents if she could leave the team.

Reason #3: Coach's Choice
The athlete is not performing up to whatever standards were given at the get-go and Coach deems it necessary to relieve the player of her teamly duties. It's a tough job, but it has to be done. 

No matter which reason, it is tough on all players when a girl leaves. Heck, it may even be hard on the parents too, depending on which reason it is for the girl leaving. The dynamics might be awesome, but one thing wasn't working and it couldn't be resolved. 

What's harder is how you position the news to a team. You tell them that so and so is no longer with the team, and leave it at that? Or do you give them a quick pep talk to assure them that the team is still strong and will continue to play at a high level, even without their friend?

I'd like to hear some thoughts about this subject. What percentage of girls who leave teams leave because it's their parents' choice? How many leave because it it their own choice? And how many leave because they are asked to?

I think the greater message here is that even if your friend decides to leave your team for another, it's ok to still be friends with her. You never know where your paths will take you throughout your softball career. You might eventually be on the same team again. You might rejoin each other in high school to play. Heck, you might even play Division I college ball together! Just like in the workplace, it's never good to burn bridges. Leave with grace and on good terms so there is always an open door to come back if it doesn't work out at the new place. And keep your teammates as friends because you never know who you might be playing with in the next stage of your softball career.